Landing is hard, NYC recovery.

My travel tales sort of fiddled out after our fun day at the Brooklyn Museum because Josh was really not feeling well, and I was exhausted myself.

Our last few days in NYC were spent mostly holed in in our borrowed Brooklyn apartment, loving on the cats, and trying to be healthy. Josh slept a lot, and watched Star Trek.

The friend we were catsitting for actually returned early, staying at a friends house, because she broke her leg while on her Utah adventure and kept it secret for well over a week, for fear that we would change our plans. (Plus she really was not ready to be in her apartment alone). I was really sad to hear she was so injured, but pretty glad to get to have takeout with her one evening and catch up! (and meet the other important family in her life)

Saturday we were sitting in the apartment and and I started hearing the sound of marching bands sneaking in through the open windows. It turns out that Brooklyn puts on a spectacular Ragamuffin Parade each year, which is a fantastic combination of costume parade mixed with school groups marching together. I am glad I left the apartment to follow the marching band sounds and behold this community fun!

The next day the fun continued with the annual 3rd Street Festival, which was just booth after booth of local businesses, food, organizations and vendors. I started with the intention of walking the entire length of the festival, until I asked NYPD how many blocks it spanned. He thought 31 blocks! I had a grand time walking, chatting, and soaking in the small community festival feel.

 One of the booths I paused at was Lularoe clothing,which I had admired on friends feeds, but not been sold on until I touched them. Clothing is difficult sometimes with fibromyalgia. Anything binding is agony,  seams can feel like thorns rubbing areas raw, and textures mean so much when your skin feels every sensation amplified. I have to say that feeling how soft the fabric was made my brain pop a little, and I came home with a Perfect T, Carly dress, and 2 pairs of fantastic butter soft leggings.

Monday was departure day. I had spent a lot of spoons trying to clean our friends apartment and leave her with a "Herrick Free" black clean slate to return home to recover in. We were pretty happy to get to the airport and to our gate. The last few days felt a bit too long, with his illness and my fibro. (Remember this was travel day 17/18!)

We flew off into the sunset, literally, and headed home to Colorado.

Landing was hard. Not in the airplane, but in life. I had been going  and going for 17/18 days. Though I had down days, rest days, paced myself really well and didn't kick myself into a flair while traveling by overdoing it, I was beyond exhausted when we got home. It took me 2 days to unpack my dirty clothes. I ached, I was so very fatigued, but I was also quite satisfied. It was a good journey, with fantastic memories!

2 weeks after getting home I am on antibiotics with a terrible respiratory illness that has settled in my chest. I wonder if I was exposed to a strong virus on my travels, if I wore myself out to the point that I just couldn't fight off a standard bug well, or if it was the first inevitable autumnal virus. I just know that I am struggling to get off the couch right now. The idea that 3 weeks ago I was exploring Ellis Island with my youngest child seems so foreign. 

That is what is so very difficult to convey about living with fibromyalgia. We can carry on like a whole healthy person for a short time. However you probably only see us on those good days, because the hard days are so very hard that we hole up, are fairly isolated. I can't even imagine that the same body I am coughing painfully in, sleeping 12 or more hours a day in, was walking on the Brooklyn bridge with a small window of time where it felt strong, whole, and pain free.

Really, I am still relishing that feeling of such freedom that I had that day. I really felt like I could have walked forever, for about 2 hours, and then I could barely walk anywhere. But walking on that bridge, with the wind blowing, my son smiling, and the city in front of us was worth everything!

So now to recover for the next adventure. 

New York Playdate!

Friday in NYC was a really exciting day for me, because I was getting to meet up with one of my Fadernaut friends! (The Fadernauts are listeners of the Fade to Black podcast I enjoy, and my trip to Joshua Tree was really to go meet some of them. I had met Cary in Joshua Tree, but did not spend a lot of time with her there.)

We were originally going to meet at the MET, but she suggested the Brooklyn Museum as they have a large Ancient Egypt collection as well. It ended up being the best idea, because there were no crowds, and the museum is exquisite.

I always love finding breastfeeding in art

Another maternal figure, carrying infant.

After filling our brains we walked to a lovely Mexican restaurant and ate and chatted. In the time we had been eating, the streets outside changed dramatically!

We had gone part of a block and I started to pay attention to the equipment being pushed on carts up the street, and then noticed large lights with gels on them, and realized that we were walking through what would be a filming set. After stopping to quiz a young man we found out that it is filming for a Netflix show called Tr. 

The fun thing was that this young man was not entirely sure, because it was his first day. He would be working on special effects, and explained how you just come and do what you are told to do, and the goal is to work until you can join the union. He had to ask around to find out what network the show would be on, and I can't find anything online about it yet, so keep your eyes open! Because I love knowing how things work behind the scenes, if I had been alone I would have totally figured out a way to just hang out and watch how things unfolded in front of me. I don't care about seeing the actors or stars. It was about watching a show being filmed, watching the orchestration behind the camera, the people working the lights, the whole thing. THAT would have been quite fun!

Today, I don't know what is on the books. Josh just ran out for coffee and bagels (his first solo excursion) while I finish this up and get dressed. No matter what, it is going to be a good day!

New York, needles, heartache and walking.

 Yesterday we headed straight for China Town, because we both had acupuncture appointments. On my first visit here, my friend introduced me to this Acupuncturist, and I was eager to see him again. Josh was having a lot of unusual pain in his back, and this would be his first time getting acupuncture. (I have seen quite a few acupuncturists myself, however I realized that it is quite different being treated by someone with just an Eastern Medicine paradigm.

I went back with Josh to help him be as comfortable as possible with such a new thing. He actually loved it. What really surprised me was how difficult it was to watch needles, (large needles, this was deep work) pushed into my son's back. I have no struggle with needles(have drawn a lot of blood and given a lot of injections). However watching the large needles go in, and then adjusted 10 minutes later to go even further in, made me a bit dizzy!

I was relieved when it was my turn to go lay down in another room and be treated. However the entire time I was wondering how Josh was doing.

Actually before acupuncture we found ourselves purchasing a Louis Vuitton belt through a series of whispers on a corner, a woman walking with us to an ATM and back where we waited for someone else to bring the belt Josh chose off of a phone. It was a bit crazy, and they kept offering purses for me. Josh was really excited to get his super fly belt, but that was a crazy experience!

So treated, feeling energetic, we started walking towards the 9/11 Memorial. However the route lead us to by the Brooklyn Bridge, and the urge to walk it was irresistible.

I remember clearly walking up the bridge with a running conversation in my head. "I feel fantastic at this moment. There is zero pain in my body anywhere. I feel like I could walk for days. Is this what normal people feel like? I almost never feel like this. If I felt like this all the time I could do anything!". It is really profound when with fibromyalgia, you catch those moments of what feel like silence in your body. It is such a contrast to the constant hum of ache and sensation. I am not sure why I felt so great then. Acupuncture? Synergy? Altitude? (Lower altitudes always afford me a bit more oomph). I just know it was a spectacular way to feel, with a spectacular view. The magic of not having to think about every step ahead of me, to ration them carefully and not end up in a pain pickled was beyond words. Every day I have to determine if I have enough oomph in me for an activity. Most days I would have to seriously evaluate whether walking half a block out of my way is even possible. On that day, I felt like I could meander forever, letting my curiosity lead me. For a while that is. The pain did return... will get to that.

Our walk from the bridge to the memorial lead us past this spectacular scene in front of the Supreme Court building. (That is a NYC firetruck being towed)

Then, the memorial. I was drawn to it on my last visit, and was not surprised when Josh voiced a desire to go after we had been in NYC for a few days. Walking down the ramp into the memorial was surprisingly emotional for me, when doing it with Josh. So much of my personal 9/11 experience is wrapped up in memories of sitting on the couch watching all of the coverage, nursing my tiny premature baby Josh(who was 12 days old), who was struggling with jaundice and felt so fragile. My postpartum hormones and the tangle of my own continued problems after the birth, infections and being rehospitalized is all enmeshed with the horror of 9/11 and the long recovery.

Halfway through the memorial my pain returned. I did not welcome it at all, it was not an old friend, and I resented that the silence inside my body was gone. I have had other windows of relief that were this profound, but there is no consistency about what seems to lead to it. Maybe it was the acupuncture, though none of my other periods free of symptoms were related to acupuncture. It is easy to try to chase those silences, but after years of chasing I accept them as validations. Sometimes when my pain goes on and on, I start to second guess myself and ask if my brain is just twisting it so I think it is pain. Having contrasting periods, whether they are minutes or hours, really do validate that "holy cow, I am in a lot of pain ALL THE TIME!".

New York, and resting is doing something!

Today was not a day lost in NYC. Though we are surrounded by spectacular things to see and do, so much to experience, it was a day to rest.

I have so many great adventures, but what what has really bloomed dramatically in me over the last year of consciously trying to adventure all I can with the body I have is that I am not trying to have the adventures OTHERS have, I am trying to have the adventure I can have. It is MY adventures that fill my soul, not living the adventures of others.

A healthy person can look at 7 days in NYC as an opportunity to see and do as much as they can, because what an opportunity! However that mindset was really detrimental to my perception of being able to have fantastic adventures. I remember my anxiety approaching my first trip to NYC, and then my insane road trip (It really was a ridiculous undertaking) to Joshua Tree this summer. Feeling this big mountain ahead of me that I really wanted to climb, longed to climb with every bit of my soul, and see every vista possible in the process, but that freaking mountain was HUGE.

On my first NYC trip I remember feeling quietly resentful and limited because I had to rest more, could not do all I dreamed of. I was ecstatic and returned home empowered and looking forward to pushing myself more, but if I am being really honest, time I was "not doing anything" felt like a waste, a loss. Necessary, but stinky.

However a year later, both in Seattle, and now in NYC, I have found a different love of the quiet gentle pace my body chooses for me. I can push a day, but don't have to feel like I have to push as much as possible while my pain is more manageable. I don't feel regretful that today, we stayed in. Not totally in, I walked to pick up a couple groceries this morning, and we took a long stroll down at the waterfront this afternoon.

That is enough. That is a great day in NYC (Well Brooklyn specifically today)! We watched the huge ships, watched people walk by, and then wandered the blocks back up from the shore to our home base.

We also have been binge watching Star Trek (The Next Generation),which is seriously important work as well.

Today as been a very good adventuring day!

New York Day 2-3

Our second full day in NYC was spent quietly puttering around the apartment we are staying in. Josh was sick, a stomach bug, and felt awful. I didn't want to leave him, was being a mom, so our second full day was a day of rest. And Chinese food, which he desperately wanted after his stomach settled. Oh, and binge watching Star Trek The Next Generation.

Day 3 started slow, as Josh didn't sleep well. However it was fantastic and full! We took the R line to Battery Park, where we got in line. Then when we competed that line, we got in another. Eventually we boarded the Lady Liberty boat to Liberty Island.

We opted to appreciate her splendor from our seats, and no spend time on the Liberty Island, knowing we would want more time at Ellis Island. I have to say that I was so incredibly surprised to discover that my youngest really has an interest in history, and had not anticipated me wanting to move through the displays faster than he did.

This just ended up being a freaking cool picture!

After walking ourselves to the point of starvation we took the last boat back to Manhattan. Visiting Ellis Island was pretty magical. Not only were we walking through the halls that people from so many cultures entered through so long ago, we were walking the halls with so many cultures too. A multitude of languages, religions, traditional styles of dress and families of every makeup were surrounding us. I helped take pictures of a Jewish family, an Asian couple, pretended to bounce around with a young Muslim boy, and smiled at so many people who smiled back. It felt so right.

We thought we would grab a the train home but as soon as we set foot on solid ground I knew that if I didn't get substantial food in me immediately I would be miserable. So we took off marching in a purposeful direction while Josh tried to look up nearby food options at the same time I told him to just march with me, we would find something great.

We so did! Fraunces Tavern is located in the oldest building in Manhattan,tucked in the financial district, and was where George Washington gave his farewell address.(As well as threw back a lot of Ale). If we get back that way this week we look forward to checking out the Museum located above the restaurant. The atmosphere was a perfect followup to Ellis Island, and the food was really delicious.

Chicken Pot Pie and Fish and Chips

We then wandered through the financial district, down Wall Street, and peeked into luxurious lobbies with doormen and chandeliers. I had not wandered that area at night, and it certainly has a different feel than in the hustle and bustle of the workday.

We were pretty happy to drag ourselves home, and collapse on the couch, after feeding the cats that we truly are cat sitting while here. (Photo evidence included)

New York Again! Day 1

I am pretty content and excited to be sitting in Brooklyn as I write this! It is my second trip, but this time I brought Josh along due to a conveniently timed 4 day weekend, and it is his first trip.

I was not at all ready to travel again yesterday. I was still sore from my overexertion, absolutely wiped out, and had some awful trigger point pain. I was in "I just need to get there and sort it out then" mode yesterday.

So we actually started our trip right where I ended the last one less than 48 hours earlier. In the massage chairs on Concourse A at Denver International Airport. It was still a painful flight, and my seat would not recline at all, but we made it.

I had reserved a car from the airport to our friends house in Brooklyn, which is quicker than public transportation and cheaper than a cab. My driver was waiting for us at an island out amongst a million other black cars, and we were on the phone trying to find each other. I suddenly saw him waving a sign with my name on it as he was trying to weave to the curb. So I can check being picked up at the airport by a driver holding a sign with my name off of my bucket list.

Last night was just running out for some quick groceries and meeting the cats that we are taking care of. We really didn't come to NYC to have a vacation, our primary purpose is to love on Iggy and Circe while their mom is away playing. It is just a lovely lucky location for cat sitting!

Josh was not feeling well last night, and was even worse this morning. However we are in NYC, and there was no sitting in the apt binge watching Star Trek Next Generation all day. So in the early afternoon we headed for the subway. Originally we were heading towards Times Square, but then we decided to just stay on the subway and go to Central Park instead.

I think that my favorite moment of the day was when someone started a boombox and started dancing on the subway. That I have seen before, but the look of total joy and surprise on Josh's face was worth everything already. There were other performers who came later in the ride, but that dancer and Josh's glee will stick with me forever!

Central park! I just walked about 30 minutes of it while eating a hot dog last visit, so I was thrilled to really explore it. Of course...by bike. What was I thinking? It is not hot, but warm, and HUMID. I have fibro, and am out of shape. Those facts did not stop me from fulfilling another dream. (At a later point I will insert the 3 minute video from the handlebars of my bike!) Central Park is huge. I knew that, but let me tell you that the general bike loop is 6 miles, up and down hills. Whoa. We did not bike all of it, probably not even half.

We meandered, but I wanted to see the castle. So it took some searching, and climbing and descending stairs walking our bikes, but we found it!

This is part of the spectacular view our search was rewarded with.

Me made it to the top, look at my flushed cheeks!

I really wanted to see Strawberry Fields (The John Lennon Memorial) on this excursion too, however we got quite turned around in the park, rode quite far in the opposite direction, and then had to bust butt to get the bike backs on time. (I should add that in our turned-around-ness we went to 2 WRONG bike return spots before having to make our way back to the correct one, that had my ID on hold. City Park is HUGE yo!)

The train ride home had no dancers or performers, but we did have a pug in a stroller, whose human mother took a lot of pictures of while it looked bored. That was picture worthy!

We were too pooped to even go out for a full meal, so we are happily eating the soup we picked up "just in case". That was mom planning, wasn't it?

Let there be rest, and a lot of laundry.

Dan and I got home from Seattle last night about 7:30. What a fantastic getaway it was for me. He had the conference and a lot of responsibilities around it, so it was not his getaway.

Meeting his tribe was the best part. He has been attending this conference, and coming home with more and more tales, for years. Having names and faces to the past and future stories was great, and they were so sweet in the way they welcomed me in.

I did get out and walk Seattle each of my remaining days there, including the day I proclaimed a day in bed day. My curiosity makes it easier to get out of that bed and explore for a little while. At home, sometimes the bed keeps me longer.

Today is my down day, as tomorrow my youngest son and I will be flying to NYC to catsit for over a week.

To add a bit of challenge to the "launder and repack day" it appears that NYC is 20 degrees warmer than Seattle. I get to wear my summer clothes again, but worry about the impact of the heat on my fibro, as I hope to explore a lot with Josh!

I can't wait to find out though, to challenge myself with this stretch of traveling 17/18 days.

Seattle 4-a day in bed?

Whoa! I am so very sore!

Yesterday was great fun, and worth every bit of pain today.

I get those days, when I feel strong, when the pain is quieter or I have the strength to ignore it longer. I have days when I have enough energy to keep exploring and see what is just over the hill, and then over the next hill. When I have those days I seize them with every big of glee possible. I feel free, strong, and able bodied.

Today I feel broken. I have my hot pad, pain pills, THC/CBD tincture, and cable tv to help me ride this out. I need to go walk a bit, but not up or down a hill. Today both my calves and my shins are sharp shooting pains from walking up and down hills yesterday. My back hurts and I have a spasm that occurs when I move in certain ways. My head aches and I only have part of the spectacular view of the sound exposed because the light hurts. My entire body aches in a way that healthy people would associate with the flu. I ache like that almost all of the time, to varying degrees. Today it is strong.

I am tired. I can't imagine that I did all I did yesterday, because walking to the bathroom today feels further than the island yesterday. I am so tired that I am ok in my pj's. in my hotel bed, in Seattle in the middle of the day. That is part of being crazy enough to get out there and push to discover. If I spent my days trying to prevent the flair, then I might not live as big, as boldly.

I am so thankful to have good strong days, so my adventuring spirit can soar!

Yesterday was so invigorating that I can still feel the buzz of the adventure, curled up here in bed. :)

Seattle part 3-Oh The Places I'll Go!

What a fantastic day for adventuring in Seattle! I slept really well last night, so I felt like I was ready to catch a ferry and get out on the water.

Riding a ferry in and of itself was a fun and new experience. I had crossed the Mississippi River on a much smaller ferry as a child, but this was much different. This ferry has 2 levels for up to 200 cars ,and a center area for larger delivery/semi trucks.

There were 3 levels accessible to riders that included inside and outside viewing areas, a cafe and bar.(Probably hopping around 5:30 commute home time) It was not crowded at all, and the staff were all more than happy to answer my many questions about the ferry and landmarks around us.

Mt Rainier is not always visible like this. She popped out to greet me!

I arrived on Bainbridge Island and found a storybook fishing community. They have created a lovely waterfront walking trail that wound its way along the shore, past marina's and through quaint oceanside neighborhoods. I would love to come back and stay on the island to really experience it.

Fun rock sculptures looking over one of the marina's.

Approaching picturesque Bainbridge Island.

I had such a lovely wander, and found myself going just a bit further to see what is over there..and then a bit further yet. Suddenly my body yelled "Um HELLO!" and I realized that I had happily wandered to the end of my oomph, and knowing that I had a ferry ride and a climb up Pike Street before I could collapse I started my "slow, strong, painful steps", just one after another.

The ferry ride gave me a bit of a chance to stretch, sit, and catch my breath, as well as make a friend. I had boarded the Ferry next to  a  young woman on her own, and we chatted. At the end of the ride we separately found our way to the front end of the ferry and were talking about the different landmarks, as she had not yet explored Seattle. Though I was so tired, we decided that we would go ride the giant ferris wheel together because some things are more fun shared.

In my short time with her I realized what I love so much about exploring on my own. If I had Dan with me, I most likely would not have engaged in the same sort of conversation with an absolute stranger. I would not have been spontaneous and seized the opportunity to connect just a little bit more.

This is Benafsha and I up in the giant ferris wheel, which was more spectacular than I expected it to be!

We hugged farewell, thankful for our hour or so together, and I started the intense and painful climb up the hill. I could have found the elevators from the parking garage for Pike Street Market and saved myself 6 flights up burning thighs, but I was determined to climb back up myself. I did!

I crawled into a hot shower, into bed with my hot pad, and spent quite a few hours trying to tame the aches, and to just glow a bit because I had just a wonderful day!

Seattle part 2

I left the hotel late this morning with the intention of going up hill, away from the Pike Market. However 5 blocks up it started to look less interesting and historic, so I drifted back down towards the waterfront. I think that gravity just has a profound effect on me, so down was the way!

My first impression was "Holy SeaHawks!" as it is game day, and it is a sea of jerseys. Tucked here and there were Cosplayers, as there is also a GeekGirlCon happening.

 Climbing up from the waterfront I suddenly found myself in front a a mural that really spoke to me. There is always room for change, wonderful room for change. As I tried to take a selfie I looked up and realized that right in front of me was the entrancing terrace from a different perspective!


Up another level and across a walkway I found a huge art installation that I tried to find out more about but couldn't easily. The brightly colored planks create colorful waves up a block of concrete wall , and it just made me happy.

I always enjoy seeing the ways familiar plants grow differently in other climates. These succulents were blooming spectacularly!

However no amount of green outside can really convey the sea of wonder inside the Pike Place Market. The long stalls with piles of fruits and vegetables reminded me so much of walking through the Mercado in Mexico. Locally grown fruits and veggies, exotic fruits from further away, and the flowers. Oh the flowers! Yesterday I told Dan I wished I could buy a bouquet, and he asked why I couldn't. 4 more nights here, I can enjoy this bouquet of dahlia's of so many sorts I just want to sigh.

I stopped at another vendor and picked up 2 pears, an apple and a peach. Then I realized that they had Ellenos Greek yogurt there. It turns out it was the very first Ellenos store. I discovered this incredible yogurt, more like ice cream really, in Portland.

With my giant flower bouquet and a bag of bounty hangin from my arm, I called the outing complete, and worked my glutes back up the hill. I am glad I went out walking enough to loosen up, but didn't get past the really hurting a bit too much point, so I am going to listen to this loud speaking body of mine and curl up a bit longer! Next to my bouquet of course.