In the Beginning..Post 1

My name is Staci,that is with an (i). A lifetime ago, before I was married, or a mother, I imagined that I would travel the world. I wanted to really see the places I read about in books. I grew up with my nose stuck in a book, so my travel dreams were extensive. I wanted to smell the smells and taste the food. I wanted to meet people from every culture, going to them with my openness and curiosity.I wanted to know my country, to walk where history was made, or where culture runs deep.

I started strong, spending my senior year of High School in Mexico. Mexico was the alternate for the original assignment in Italy. Oh how I wanted to be in Europe, where everything I had read about,the history I had learned, was so within a train ride. However I could never have comprehended how much I benefit personally and professionally from speaking Spanish and having a love of the Mexican culture. I am so thankful that the universe orchestrated that change so long ago.

I returned from Mexico, launched into the world and I tried to grow up and settle down far too fast, became a mother, and then a mother of 2, then 3. When you are a happy busy mom, things like seeing the world just are not as important, or even obtainable. I still had a someday list, and tried to make the world as big as I could for my kids with camping trips and visits to family. Flying off to faraway lands, or states even, just was not in the budget or priority list.

Now, 2 of my kids are grown, the third pretty close. I am at a place in my life when I can start adventuring a bit more.We are little more financially secure, and have more freedom as our kids are adults. Here is the kicker though. The awful unfair frustrating part. I have a really rotten chronic illness that causes widespread pain, debilitating fatigue, insomnia, muscle spasms, brain fog, depression and a whole other list of "this shouldn't happen at this age!" symptoms and sensations. It is called fibromyalgia. I am 100% disabled at this point, as determined by a judge and my healthcare provider. It stinks. Truly it stinks.

So while I am at the season of my life when I get to think about myself more again, plan adventures with my husband, and can travel a bit more, it is all just so much more challenging for me! Some with fibromyalgia would tell you it is impossible, but I believe otherwise. Traveling has to look different, with alternate plans, slower timelines and different expectations. I am just not ready to give up on fulfilling some of my dreams to live big, my intentions to experience the world.

I am determined to learn to live big, to fill my journals with experiences and moments, and seek out that part of myself that is not limited to the couch. I want to seek out challenges and adventures that fill my soul, that awaken that part of me that is not limited to hot pads and prescription bottles, and days in my room.

Will you come with me?